Reaffirmatin Ceremony

Hi, my name is Judy. I recently went through the planning of a Reaffirmation Ceremony for my 20 year anniversary which was quite an experience. You see, I didn't have the traditional large wedding 20 yrs. ago, so when my husband, Rick, proposed to me back in February of 2006 I was shocked, confused and excited. The picture to the right is from the wedding shower given by my daughter, April, along with several of our friends.

I would like to tell you about this experience and the process we went through to make this a memorable event and one of the happiest days ever!

In February of 2006, while going through chemo for colon cancer, my husband proposed to me in front of 150 people, at a convention no less! He made a big speech about how he proposed the first time and how it wasn't romantic or special. SO, now he wanted to do it right, down on one knee, a ring, witnesses, the whole bit.

Wow! Tears were flowing, cheering. The song "Winds Beneath My Wings" was playing! Who could say no to that.

Then he turns to me and says with a huge mischievous grin, "Now you have to plan it." People came up to me all evening wanting to make sure they were on the invitation list.

Now my work had to begin. In April Rick's father became very ill and we traveled to Alabama to see him. It was bad news. He had cancer. Rick was on his last treatment himself and this caused huge emotional trauma. Not only for him but for his entire family. During the trip back home I sat and thought about the "wedding". During the week after arriving home I went to the computer to find out what I could about having an anniversary wedding or as I found out a "Reaffirmation Ceremony". I researched invitations and language to use and etiquette.

30 days later Rick's father died so we made our way back to Alabama for the funeral and on the way back I planned in my head the "ceremony".

I remembered a time way in the past of a wedding shower I attended where the family held a "Moc Wedding" during the shower using family members as the bride and groom and all the wedding party. They switched genders, used vows from each of the bride and grooms lives. Such as nicknames they called each other, places they went together, songs they liked, etc.

Then another funny event came to mind. My family live in Arkansas and went to the airport like a bunch of hick hill billies with signs (with miss spelled words) bibbed over hauls, loud, etc. to meet their newly married daughter and her husband arriving home from their honeymoon. It was hilarious. People were gathering around. They thought it was a "movie" or 't.v." show being filmed and wanted to see what was going on.

I incorporated all those things into my thought process for my "Reaffirmation Ceremony". As soon as I had a general idea I threw it out there for Rick to hear and process. He seemed receptive and went along with every suggestion I made. We spent days discussing this plan and got confused and decided to sit down at the computer and write a "script" and planner.

The first draft of course was missing a lot of things, but it gave us an idea of what we wanted to happen during this "ceremony" and fine tuned it over the next couple months. I discussed each idea with family and friends and asked them if they would participate. After reading the script they were more than happy to be a part of this 20 year Reaffirmation Ceremony.

My sister and her daughter (one of twin girls) do weddings and showers as a part time job already, so I asked if they would make the cakes and the flowers (bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres) and decorations. As well as be participants in the ceremony. Naturally they agreed.

Finances aren't abundant so we had to decide if we wanted a photographer or a video camera. I went on line and checked out the local photographer's and prices and found that was way over our heads. So then I called around and found local video companies to see what their prices were and what kind of packages they had. I found the one I wanted and immediately met with them and found all the information I needed and got the ball rolling. Set dates, times, package, etc.

Continuously tweaking the script I found I still needed a photographer so I mentioned it to a friend who immediately recommended someone he knew that did that on the side. After calling him I found his rate very reasonable! I could have both.